Rewiring Negative Thoughts with Holistic Psychotherapist, Roxie Saremi
/Do you ever come across certain people and you can feel the beauty and goodness radiating out of them instantly? I came across Roxie Saremi a few weeks ago on Instagram and instantly loved the vibe of her page and her genuine, heartfelt message. Her page is full of beautiful pictures, lots of crystals, inspirational quotes, and loads of healing wisdom. She is a light maker and I knew I wanted her to be a guest blogger on my page. As a psychotherapist, her work is holistic and integrative, focusing on emotional healing and well being. She is also licensed from USC as a marriage and family therapist. Basically, she's pure magic. Read below for the post she created special for my readers like YOU. Enjoy, xo.
A Healer’s Guide to Rewiring Our Negative Thoughts
We’ve all had those experiences where we felt uncomfortable emotions that we just don’t want to feel. Those moments where we wish we could just hide under a blanket and hopefully time travel to another dimension and escape! I know I’ve had my share.
Whether it was telling a guy you like him and then feeling rejected by his response, messing up at work and doubting your intelligence, feeling anxious before a first date, saying something that hurt someone’s feelings and instantly regretting it, clogging the toilet at your in-law’s house and feeling mortified, or beating yourself up for being late on rent.
Whatever the situation might be, do you notice how you’re talking to yourself? Is it helpful or making you feel worse? Maybe it’s become such a pattern that you don’t recognize it as negative. It might sound a little like this:
“How could I have been so stupid? Why did I do that? I should have known better.
Suck it up!”
Sound familiar? Telling yourself that you should have done something differently or that you are not good enough is causing more self-harm than you might realize.
We have all been there. The best part is that we are resilient humans and if you WANT to heal and live a healthier and more peaceful life, you are already taking that first step!
You may have tried deep breathing and positive affirmations and that may not have worked for you. It does not work for everyone, and I am here to tell you that those are not the only tools.
Today, I want to show you simple rituals that will help you regulate uncomfortable emotions, stop judgmental thoughts, grant emotional freedom and increase overall self-worth.
So here we go.
Just Notice
Every time you have a negative thought of yourself or you notice yourself starting to have that inner nag, notice it. Just notice it. Say hi to it. Allow yourself to observe yourself having a reaction. Check in with your body. Is your heart beating faster? Are you having a gut reaction? Really sit with these emotions and notice how your body feels.
No Apologies Needed
Do not apologize for catching feels. We have emotions for a reason! FEEL THEM.
If you feel angry, then express that. If you feel sad, it’s okay to cry. The more you acknowledge your emotions, the better you will understand where they are coming from.
Find A Sound Board
Whether it’s a friend you tell everything to, a parent, your guardian angels, or a therapist, talk to someone! Sometimes just by expressing your thoughts and emotions out loud, the less intense they’ll feel.
Write It Out
Is all this new for you? It’s okay to be private too. Another option to getting in touch with how you are feeling is to journal. Journaling is one of my favorite ways to talk it out with myself and get in touch with my inner guidance. Some of my most enlightening moments have come from journaling. Just try it!
Cut The Cord
Sometimes we don’t recognize that the emotions we are feeling aren’t even our own! As social beings, we are always connecting with others and are exposed to other people’s emotions and vibrations. Without knowing, we can pick up these emotions and mistake them for our own. Generally, these are negative and don’t make us feel so good.
My Life Coach, Angela Simson, Happiness Expert and Wellness Guide, gave me one piece of advice that will always stick with me. I told her how burnt out I was beginning to feel after seeing clients back to back. She taught me that after you have a conversation with someone, anyone, take about 2-5 minutes to imagine a loving cord cutting between the two of you and that person leaving with all their vibes and you being left with yours. This tool guarantees that you are only experiencing what is yours.
Find Your Space
In addition to making sure you are only carrying emotions that are yours, it’s also really important to have a positive space that can become your safe haven. This can be in the form of your favorite corner in your bedroom, a meditation center, somewhere in nature, or any place you feel a connection to a grounding source.
One of my favorite things to do after a long day is light incense and just lay on my bedroom floor surrounded by pillows and good vibes.
Celebrate Sparkling Moments
In therapy, we like to call small victories, sparkling moments. When we acknowledge the moments in which we feel good and are able to express ourselves, we create a pattern of positive self-talk.
Did you just score a big win at work? Pat yourself on the back! Did you show up even when you were exhausted? Did you speak your truth and say how you felt when you usually wouldn’t? Celebrate these sparkling examples!
You are creating a new way of feeling on the inside and shaping yourself into the person you want the world to see.
Change to Positive Self-Talk
Easier said than done, but what better way to end negative self-talk than to start now with some positive reinforcement. Did you notice yourself getting upset because you forgot your credit card at the restaurant? Are you beating yourself up because of this mistake?
How would you talk to a friend who did this by accident? If you wouldn’t tell her she’s stupid, then don’t tell it to yourself! Try noticing when that little hater comes out. Keep her in check.
Although change cannot happen instantaneously, with these tools and gained insight, you are on the path to healing self-judgment and creating a life of emotional well-being and self-empowerment. Uncomfortable emotions are a fact of life, but what is important is how we respond to them. Being kind to yourself is the stepping-stone to creating a more loving relationship with yourself and the best way to shine your light for the rest of the world.
You can follow Roxie on instagram @thenativehealer
Resources
National Institute of Mental Health
Marsha Linehan, on DBT therapy
